The pun-laden signs you see outside churches have always intrigued me. "Seven days without prayer makes one weak." "Forbidden fruit creates many jams." "We have a prophet-sharing plan." It's hard to tell whether they're intended primarily to amuse regular church goers, or to attract soul-searching passers-by.
Here are a few clever ones. And if you’re one of the soul searching passer by-ers, well, I pray we see you Sunday!
GOD SENT YOU A TEXT MESSAGE YEARS AGO - IT'S CALLED YOUR BIBLE!
LIFEGUARD ON DUTY - OURS WALKS ON WATER
THE BEST VITAMIN FOR A CHRISTIAN IS "B1"
"READ MY BEST SELLER -GOD"
PREACH THE GOSPEL AT ALL TIMES, USE WORDS IF NECESSARY
WE NEED TO TALK - LOVE, -GOD
GOD HAS A BIG ERASER
SIGN BROKEN - MESSAGE INSIDE SUNDAY
GOD ANSWERS KNEEMAIL
YOU THINK IT'S HOT HERE? -GOD
STOP, DROP AND ROLL - WON'T WORK IN HELL
"FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN - DETAILS INSIDE
TRY JESUS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, THE DEVIL WILL ALWAYS TAKE YOU BACK
JESUS DIED FOR "MY SPACE" IN HEAVEN
SATAN SUBTRACTS AND DIVIDES - GOD ADDS AND MULTIPLIES
DON'T GIVE UP. MOSES WAS ONCE A BASKET CASE
IT'S HARD TO STUMBLE WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES
THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH, REPENT BEFORE PAYDAY
IF GOD SEEMS FAR AWAY - WHO MOVED?"
HOW WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY—SMOKING OR NON-SMOKING?
LET’S MEET AT MY HOUSE BEFORE THE BIG GAME. --GOD
THE KEY TO HEAVEN WAS HUNG ON A NAIL.
READ THE BIBLE – IT WILL SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOU.
GOD’S LAST NAME ISN'T “DAMN”.
THE ATHEIST AND THE BELIEVER
There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!".
The atheist yells back, "There is no God".
She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on the lady runs into financial difficulties and has trouble buying food. She goes out onto the porch and asks God for help with groceries, then says "Praise the Lord".
The next morning she goes out onto the porch and there's the groceries she's asked for, of course she says "Praise the Lord".
The atheist jumps out from behind a bush and says, "Ha, I bought those groceries - there is no God".
The lady looks at him and smiles, she shouts "Praise the Lord --- not only did you provide for me Lord, you made Satan pay for the groceries!"